Kiddushin 41: Agents in Betrothal; The Agency of Minor Girls Regarding Marriage

Another brief blog tonight as Pesach preparation continues.

We (finally) begin Perek II today, and we begin with a Mishna about agency in betrothal.  Both men and women are permitted to appoint agents for the purpose of betrothal.  They are also permitted to perform that action themselves.  Fathers are permitted to appoint agents to betroth their minor daughters.  They are also permitted to do this themselves.

The Gemara makes it very clear that while agents are permitted, it is far more desirable for one to g through the steps of betrothal him/herself.  The rabbis note that people should be certain that they wish to marry the people they will marry.  Reish Lakish takes this opportunity to note that women are so eager to marry that they will love any man who is found for them.  His opinions seems to be in the minority, however.  We learn that even in the case of minor girls, fathers are encouraged to allow the girls to marry only when they are capable of deciding whom they wish to marry.  The argument is that we do not want girls to marry men that they do not love; we do not wish to doom relationships to either misery or divorce.

The rabbis continue their discussion of shlichot, agents, regarding separating terumah.  Terumah is similar in that agents are permitted to separate terumah but that people should attempt to do this themselves. The conversation turns to which agents are permitted to separate terumah, which is an obligation and thus should be performed by a person who is obligated to perform that task.  The rabbis believe that Jews must act as agents for other Jews in a number of cases, as they are obligated to perform these mitzvot. 

So interesting to add this context to past readings of Masechet Ketubot, where we learn more about the stringencies of betrothal and marriage halacha.  The difference between marrying off babies through intercourse and insisting that girls are old enough to choose their own husbands based on their own desire is massive.  I wonder whether this changed over the course of the hundreds of years within which the Talmud was created and collected or whether this just reflects different streams of thought.