We begin with a discussion of the sheva brachot, the prayers that are recited at a number of different times throughout the wedding and celebration. The rabbis walk through each of the seven blessings and wonder whether there are truly seven blessings. Does this one count as two blessings? Do we always recite that one?
One of those discussions centres on our gratitude for having been created as human beings. The rabbis look to Bereshit, Genesis to find the appropriate blessings. But is there one creation story or two? In Bereshit we are told that "G-d created man in his own image" (1:27), but later we learn that "Male and female he created them" (5:2). Was there one act of creation or two, the rabbis wonder. Did G-d change G-d's mind about how to create human beings? Our notes share some of the rabbis' other ideas: did the first woman run away and so a second woman had to be created? And so which prayer or prayers do we include in the sheva brachot?
Next the rabbis question the inclusion of a prayer that states, "... in Whose dwelling is joy". This is part of the singing before the birkat hamazon, the blessing after meals. If the sheva brachot were not recited because all present at one of the meals after the wedding had celebrated the occasion already, this prayer is added. The Gemara gives us further details about the inclusion of this prayer - is it said from the time of betrothal? What about when a bris, a circumcision is taking place? Certainly the parents are not feeling joy as their baby experiences pain. And what if mourners are part of a minyan? Do they recite this prayer, too?
From this discussion the Gemara tells us of parents in mourning for their children. In particular, Reish Lakish sent his disseminator to Rav Chiyya bar Abba, who was the teacher for his children. Rav Chiyya had lost a child. The disseminator, Rabbi Yehuda bar Nachmani, stated one thing after another. At first, his comments spoke of G-d's wrath taken out against the children due to the sins of their parents. This just makes Rav Chiyya feel worse, Reish Lakish told his disseminator. Try again. Rabbi Yehuda bar Nachmani then speaks of mourners, those who comfort mourners, and the entire Jewish people.
I stop and notice this sensitivity toward a parent who has lost a child; likely one of the worst things that a person can experience. We could choose to push those mourners toward recognizing G-d's glorious majesty, as we do when we say the kaddish, Or we could speak of G-d having G-d's reasons, perhaps punishing parents by hurting children. Reish Lakish explores those options but he also suggests something much more compassionate. We do not have to pretend that we know what G-d does and why. Instead we can remind people that G-d comforts, that we are surrounded by death, that sometimes righteous people suffer.
And then the rabbis discuss alcohol. Specifically, are we supposed to encourage the mourner to drink? Drunkeness can provide comfort in the most trying times. Ulla teaches that we have three glasses before the meal to help the mourner regain an appetite; three glasses during the meal to help with the intestines, and four cups after the meal to assist with digestion and disinhibition, which is thought to be important for a mourner. Each cup corresponds to a blessing in the birkat hamazon, too.
A number of commentaries are quite critical of these instructions. Ten cups is the maximum number allowed, we are told. One small cup with meal is enough. In fact, they should be careful to not get the mourner drunk. Clearly our rabbis are not comfortable with this discussion and its leanings. A healthy fear of alcohol is important. However, why do the rabbis that follow the times of our Sages feel strongly enough about this particular halacha to challenge it so forcefully?
Finally, we learn about the gift given to the community by Rabban Gamiliel. The connection is through four blessings added to other blessings said by the mourners. These blessings were for those who attended to the burial, those who lead the city and allow the poor to be buried, the destruction of the Temple, and for Rabban Gamliel. Why Rabban Gamiliel?
Upon seeing that people were upset about the exorbitant cost of burials and funerals, he instructed others to wrap him in a simple, rough linen cloth to be buried. At less that one zuz, this shroud could be accessed by almost anyone. Such a radical move - set by his own example - was highly respected by the Jewish people.
One quick note: we are also presented with a great quotation today. It tells us not to open our mouths for satan to climb in. Our notes suggest that ancient Jews believed that we could draw Satan to us just by mentioning something bad. Whether or not we believe in that concept, it has gained tremendous notoriety in recent days through books like "the Secret" and other philosophies that glorify individual control. If we speak negatively negativity will follow us. If we speak what we want, that will come to us. For me, this breaks down when I think about parts of the world where everyone is starving. Do those parents save their children by thinking positive thoughts? It can't hurt, but it can't create water where there is none, either.
Not as concise as I'd hoped, but finished.
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