Sunday, 5 January 2020

Niddah 73: Self-Congratulatory Endings

After continuing their conversation about when a woman is niddah and when she is in a state of ziva and when she imparts that ritual impurity compared with a ziv imparting ritual impurity... and more, we end this last daf of Massechet Niddah with a particularly prideful statement:

The school of Elijah taught that anyone who studies G-d's ways every day is guaranteed life in the World-to-Come, for it is stated (Habakuk 3:6): "G-d's ways are eternal".  'Halichot', G-d's ways, can be read as 'halachot', laws.  Thus we learn that those who learn G-d's laws every day lead to an eternal existence in the World-to-Come.  

At the end of Massechet Niddah, the last of all tractates of the Talmud according to Daf Yomi practice, we are particularly proud of our daily learning.  It is the perfect time to interpret and share Eliahu's words as complimentary to us as learners.  

Jewish tradition encourages us to learn.  Even more, we are encouraged to feel good about learning.  We are allowed to celebrate our accomplishments and then continue on the quest for more learning - there is never an end to this quest for more knowledge.

I have continually felt sheepish about my learning Daf Yomi as I am such a beginner; I have little guidance and little understanding.  However, I've read several commentaries as we end this thirteenth cycle of the daf yomi and others seem to have studied fewer minutes each day, without blogging their work, with even less understanding than mine.  These are men, often rabbis or other academics.  I do not judge their learning.  Why do I judge my own?  Is this because I am a woman doing this non-traditional practice?  Is it because of my own need to feel as though I have done everything perfectly?

This first round through the daf is teaching me that there is no possible way to learn the entire daf, and thus we have to simply jump in and take the gulp that we can that day.  Even learning the daf all day would not be enough to truly understand what has been set before us.  There is no 'perfect' when it comes to learning.  I'm going to attend the Toronto Siyyum this afternoon even though I know that I will not feel or look like the rest of my community.  I feel the need to celebrate this accomplishment, and I'm beginning to even feel proud of the dedication to learning that has been with me over the past seven-plus years, even though it is far less than adequate.

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