Tuesday 28 April 2015

Ketubot 86: Oaths, Ketubot and Gets; Justification for Leaving an Abusive Relationship

We begin with a conversation regarding the promissory notes that were spoken of in our last Mishna.  The piece of this debate that relates directly to Masechet Ketubot is the argument that we are actually discussing oaths made by women when they receive their gets, divorce contracts.  

What if a husband dies or divorces his wife leaving both his wife and a creditor owed money?  The rabbis teach us that creditors get money and women get land in these circumstances for women don't care about whether they get money or land; they want to stay married.  What if there isn't enough to pay both the creditor and the wife?  The creditor gets the money or land in this case.  

One particularly interesting point is that the repayment of a creditor is considered to be fulfilling a positive mitzva.  So if a person has enough money or land to repay a creditor but refuses to do so, he can be compelled by the court.  What does "compelled" mean?  In this case, it could include striking him without limitation, even until "his soul departs from his body".  Refusing to perform a positive mitzva is a serious offence.

The Gemara goes on to discuss oaths between husbands and wives.  What if a husband gives his wife a get will be enacted in thirty days and she leaves it in a wall within the public sphere?  As long as she does not place the parchment fully within the public sphere but in the wall, the get is valid from the time it is accepted by the woman (by 'pulling' it from her husband's hand).  

Can husbands insist that their wives take oaths?  A new Mishna suggests that if a wife is a storekeeper or a steward of his business, he is permitted to require that she take an oath.  But is he allowed to have her take oaths regarding her other household duties?  The rabbis debate this last point, as the rabbis wish to protect men's property but they also recognize that one cannot live in a basket with a snake.  This refers to living with someone who could strike or intimidate at any time.  In fact, such circumstances justify a wife's claim for divorce.  She can say, "Since you are so exacting with me, I cannot live with you".  

Another new Mishna tells us that husbands can enact contracts where they refuse to require that their wives make oaths.  However, the rules are tricky.  Husbands must be very careful that when they offer such contracts, they stipulate whether or not others can impose oaths upon their wives.  Heirs of the husband, heirs of the wife, and those who have authority to speak on the wife's behalf all might be permitted to insist that she make oaths.  Husbands must be very deliberate with their words when they create such contracts.

Today's daf offers inspiration to women who are feeling guilty about leaving abusive relationships.  Women might feel as though the dissolution of such a relationship is their fault; that they somehow were deserving of abusive treatment.  Today we learn that when a partner continually monitors the other's behaviour, it is grounds for divorce.  "Since you are so exacting with me, I cannot live with you".  The rabbis have compassion for women who are caught in relationships that do not allow for their freedom of movement and expression of thought.

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