Dowries and ketubot seem to be connected; a woman might be able to access her dowry if she is later divorces. We continue to discuss what goes into a dowry. Gold is like money; its value does not diminish over time and it can be used immediately. Thus in a dowry, gold is valued at 50% higher than its value at the time. The rabbis debate about whether or not gold items should be appraised and whether or not gold items are similar to other categories of things, like utensils. Customs are important, too. What if gold is not useful to a particular community? What if gold is not traded and thus will not rise in value? The rabbis lean toward following the custom of the place.
A new Mishna teaches us about the minimal provisions of a dowry. 50 dinars and clothing from her husband if he has promised to clothe his wife. An orphan girl is provided for before an orphan boy for girls tend to have tougher times getting sympathy in the streets. Those dinars are a bare minimum; even guardians of orphanages are to give more than that if they can to protect the dignity of their children.
The Gemara tells us that those 50 dinars must be provincial dinars, worth one eighth the value of a standard dinar. Charity funds provide for those who enter marriage with nothing. We learn that a n orphan boy and girl who wish to marry first provide the needs of the girl. After that, they rent a house for him, arrange for a bed and utensils and then marry him. The proof text for this practice is found in Deuteronomy 15:8, "But you shall surely open your hand to him, and shall surely lend him sufficient for his deficiency in that which is deficient for him". In this case his house is his deficiency.
And this takes us solidly into debates about charitable giving. How much is enough and how much is too much? The rabbis clearly believe that hardship is defined by the individual. Thus a person accustomed to wealth should be supported to ease their hardship just as a poor person does not need as much charitable funds to raise his or her standard of living.
We are told a number of stories about this concept. Hillel is said to have provided a horse and a servant (to run three mil in front of him) to a poor person of noble descent. When the servant was unavailable, Hillel himself ran in front of this man.
Similarly, the people of the Upper Galilee are said to have given a poor person of noble descent fresh meat every day when this was exorbitant for most people. It is clear that noble descent is enough to merit one special treatment in the times of our Sages. Today's understanding of who is deserving is based on behaviour and intention rather than yichus. An interesting difference.
Another story tells of a man who asked Rabbi Nechemya for charity. He was used to dining on a fatty meat and aged wine. This man ate lentils with Rabbi Nechemya, as lentils were the rabbi's usual food, and this killed the man. The rabbis interpret Rabbi Nechemya's comments to meant that the man killed himself; his excess caused him to be incapable of digesting simple foods.
Our next story is similar, for Rava is asked for charity by a person who is used to a fattened hen and aged wine for dining. He argued that the Merciful One would provide for him through the community. Psalms 145:15, the eyes of all wait for You, and You give them their food in its time", proves that all people get exactly the food that they should get, when they should receive it. While they were speaking, Rava's sister appeared after a thirteen year absence bringing a hen and wine as a gift.
What should be done if a person does not wish to be supported? The rabbis agree that this person should be given the food as a gift. And if not a gift, then a loan, but no-one should attempt to collect the debt. Deuteronomy 15:8 teaches ha'avet ta'avitenu, You shall open your hand to him. The rabbis use these words to understand both what should be done with a person who will not take charity. They also use these words to help them understand what should be done when someone is not in need but insists upon taking charitable funds. The rabbis teach that the money should be a gift, but it will be collected from his estate after he has died.
We learn about Mar Ukva, who gave money in many ways. One of his recipients wanted to know who was leaving money by his door each day, and so he waited and watched. That day, Mar Ukva's wife accompanied him and gave the tzadaka. As the recipient hear the door move, he jumped out to see who was there, but Mar Ukva and his wife ran into a furnace room where his legs were burned but hers were not. He realized that she was more worthy and became upset. She calmed him down by explaining that I usually give tzedaka from the home - food and useful items - and you give money, which is less immediately useful. That is why my tzedaka is greater. The rabbis teach that It is better to put oneself in a firey furnace than to whiten the face of a friend [to embarrass a friend]. Tamar taught us this when she stepped up to be burnt and she named her father-in-law without saying his actual name and embarrassing him.
Mar Ukva gave a pauper 400 dinars each Yom Kippur. One year he asked his son to bring the gift, and his son returned. This was not a pauper - people were spilling old wine on the ground for him just to give his home a pleasant smell! Mar Ukva said that this person was used to luxury and must need even more, and he doubled the donation.
On his deathbed, Mar Ukva counted up his charitable gifts and realized he had not given enough. He gave away half of his estate. The rabbis agree that this is allowed, but only when a man is on his deathbed. in other cases, he might not actually die and then become destitute when he could have funded his own care.
Rabbi Abba is said to have wrapped coins in his scarf and toss the money behind him to remain anonymous and to avoid embarrassing the recipients. He would keep his eyes open just enough to ward off those who would take this money dishonestly.
We continue to compete about who gives more. But humility is not part of philanthropy these days. The more we give, the more gratitude and physical monuments we get in our honour.
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