Most rabbis agree that a mother should be given whichever foods she craves while nursing to ensure that her body produces enough milk to sustain the child. Thus the husband is responsible for providing that extra food. If he refuses, she is obligated to purchase it herself with any of her own savings.
Rabbis argue that a wet nurse is not permitted to nurse her own child while she is paid to nurse another woman's child in case she does not have enough milk for both children.
Women are encouraged to nurse their children until the children are at least 24 months and not significantly beyond four or five years. The rabbis discuss how long a woman should wait before remarrying if she is divorced or widowed while her child is an infant. No matter what the circumstances, the rabbis want women to wait three months before remarrying. They consider permitting women to remarry if her baby dies. This is challenges as women might kill their babies to remarry quickly. However, the rabbis agree that one would have to be "insane" (sic) to murder her own child, which is so rare that it should not be considered when creating halacha.
The rabbis move into a conversation about the milk of humans and the milk of other animals. Humans are not permitted to suckle from animals unless they are very ill, it is Shabbat, and there is no other way to access that 'treatment'. In that case, suckling is an unusual way to get milk. Doing things in an unusual way, even many discouraged things, are permitted on Shabbat. Anyone who suckles directly from a woman who is not her young child is said to be like "one who nurses from an unkosher animal." Once a child reaches twenty-four months, if s/he is weaned, s/he cannot go back to nursing unless an illness caused him to stop nursing.
Eating blood is discussed as well. In contrast to breast milk, blood is not allowed to be eaten if it has left the body. If a person cuts her mouth and eats a piece of bread, the blood can be torn off and disposed of leaving the rest of the bread edible. If a person gets a cut insider of his mouth, he can suck in the blood and ingest it.
The rabbis are concerned that some foods might cause milk to spoil or to dry up. They share the following list of behaviours that might affect children in utero. If she engages in intercourse in certain places, there are predictable results:
- intercourse in a mill - baby will be epileptic
- intercourse on the ground - long necked children
- steps on donkey dung while pregnant - bald children
- eats mustard while pregnant - gluttonous children
- eats garden cress - tearful children
- eats fish brine - blinking children
- eats soil while pregnant - ugly children
- drinks intoxicating liquour - black children
- drinks wine - healthy children
- eats eggs - large eyed children
- eats celery - beautiful children
- eats fish - graceful children
- eats coriander - corpulent children
- eats etrogim - sweet smelling children
It is obvious that women's lives were controlled strictly, particularly when they were pregnant or nursing. This makes some sense within the context of this ancient patriarchal society, as women were generally controlled by their fathers and then their husbands. Even in today's Western, mainstream society, women's behaviours are scrutinized - if not directly controlled - particularly when we are pregnant or nursing. For example, though there is no evidence that small quantities of wine will hurt a growing fetus, women will be shamed publicly if we choose to drink a glass of wine with dinner while we are pregnant.
* Of course this incident inspires many questions: why did this woman not want to nurse her child? Did she have other children? Did she have financial or other concerns that precluded nursing? Was she depressed? Did this happen often? What would happen if her baby then died - would she be charged with murder?
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