Moed Katan 27 Overturning Beds, Honouring the Poor, and Mourning Excessively

Mourners were told to overturn their beds when in mourning.  Amud (a) describes many of the practicalities surrounding this custom.  It was to be done to every bed in the home of a mourner, whether s/he slept in those beds or not and whether s/he lived in the town of the deceased or not.  Beds were turned back to an upright position on Shabbat, for Shabbat is not a day of mourning.  Even if only one day of mourning remains following havdala, mourners are to overturn their beds again.  A decorative bed is not overturned, nor is a dargash.  It seems that the dargash may have been a leather bed that was usually used for decorative purposes.  The rabbis go to some length to describe these beds.      

It seems that part of the point of overturning beds is not discomfort (for sleeping in a chair or on the floor is not allowed; beds must be overturned).  Instead, overturned beds were noticeable.  Thus visitors would understand immediately that they were in a house of mourning.

A new Mishna teaches us about bringing food in simple containers to the house of a mourner.  It speaks about receiving lines and about not setting down the bier while it is being carried to discourage eulogies on the street.  As well, it tells us never to set down the bier of a woman, in case blood escapes to the street and her honour is affected.

The Gemara focuses on socioeconomic difference and attempts to maintain the honour of those who are disadvantaged.  Though the rich might do things in certain ways, they are told to follow the customs of the poor so that poor people are not dishonoured.  Similarly, all people must use fragrance in the room of those who have died to ensure that those who have intestinal disease (and thus require fragrance) are not dishonoured.  Similarly, to avoid pointing out which women were menstruating and which people were zavim, the utensils of all people were immersed following death.  This ensured that laws of ritual purity were protected while the honour of women and zavim were also protected.

We learn that all people were wrapped in inexpensive linen or hemp when being prepared for burial.  When mourners were ready to move on from being consoled, their heads were covered and so they nodded their heads slightly to indicate their readiness to move forward.  As well, we learn that people were encouraged to be careful when stomping their feet in mourning lest they injure themselves.

So many guidelines:

• mourners and those who are ill are allowed to be seated while others must stand
• mourners should not prepare their own first meal of mourning - if food is exchanged in times of mourning, that arrangement cannot be discussed
• when a person dies in a city, all work must cease until s/he is buried unless there is a group designated to take on this task - even so, the city stops working for the burial
• we cannot grieve excessively: three days of mourning, seven days of eulogizing, and 30 days without cutting hair or ironing clothing
• those who lose their only child are thought to be in greater distress; the rabbis argue whether this might happen because of a transgression committed earlier (possibly repeatedly, and thus seeming permitted to him/her)

We are told the story of a woman with seven sons who grieved to excess over the loss of one of her sons.  Rabbi Huna warned her to cease, but she did not, and lost son after son.  Finally, he warned her that she herself would die if she did not stop mourning excessively.  She died.  This seems terribly harsh.  In context, such mourning was seen as a refusal to accept G-d's will.  Alternatively, it is seen as a punishment for other sins.  How harsh this seems in today's context.

Rabbi Levy shares the last story of today's daf.  He says that a person who suffers a loss should imagine that a sword is between his thighs (or perhaps his shoulders) for the first three days of mourning.  For the seven days of eulogizing, s/he should imagine that sword in the corner, still threatening.  For the remaining thirty days, it is as if the sword is following him/her through the market.  Rabbi Levy is suggesting that we are at risk of dying ourselves when we are in mourning.  The birth of a baby in the family would signify an end to this risk.