Moed Katan 24 More Mourning on Shabbat: Wealthy vs. Poor Families and their Babies

We learn the rituals of mourning on Shabbat.  Generally speaking, we do not display any signs of mourning when we are in public.  But alone, we are encouraged to practice any mourning ritual that feels right.  There are some restrictions, however.  A mnemonic is used: Peh (periat rosh, uncovering the head), chet (chazarat kera, reversing the torn garment), and zayin (zekifat hamitta, standing the bed upright) MUST be performed.  Nun(ne'ilat hasandal, wearing shoes), tav (tashmish hamitta, marital relations), and reish (rechitsat yadayim, hand washing) are optional mourning practices on Shabbat.

The Gemara discusses types of head coverings, sexual relations and mending rent garments with greater specificity.  

Today's daf includes a conversation about how to mourn infants.  Before 30 days, the infant not considered 'viable', and a less formal mourning process is suggested.  After 30 days, however, we are instructed to incorporate more - but not all - of the mourning rituals that are in place for adults.  

From this conversation, the rabbis discuss the meaning of lost infant.  They agree that losing a child is more tragic for poor families for a number of reasons.  The rabbis suggest that a lost child represents a loss of future income and support; the loss of the only joy in in a poor person's life.  They note that eulogies are performed for children at different ages then the child is from a wealthy or poor family.  

The rabbis consider how the thirty days of mourning are counted when the Festivals (including the High Holy Days) interrupt the mourning.  

Our daf ends with a new Mishna: During intermediate days of Festivals, mourners do not rend their clothing, remove clothing from their shoulders, eat a donated meal (unless given by a close relative of the person who died).  While the mourner sits on an upright (not overturned) bed, comforters are obligated to provide the first meal after the burial.

Again I note the fascination between what is public and what is private; what others see of our behaviour and what we keep behind closed doors.  It seems that there is at least one reason for this focus.  We do not want others to break their halachot because they are watching us break our halachot; this contagion is kept to a minimum when we keep our practice private.  This may not only represent a push toward conformity.  Instead it may be a way to continually create a society where the needs of the group are considered to be as important as the needs of the individual.