Kiddushin 6: Words Used for Betrothal, Conflicts of Interest and Bartering/ Symbolic Exchange

Our daf begins with a list of some of the many phrases a man might say when betrothing a woman.  The rabbis note that different expressions might be used in different places, and these are valid if they are used in the appropriate context.  For example, "You are hereby my helper" is generally considered to be a valid statement of betrothal. "You are my espoused one", however, is an expression used in Judea to refer to one's wife.  Based on that local custom, as long as the couple was speaking about marriage or the process of betrothal, that expression is considered to be a valid statement of betrothal as well.  The rabbis share their concerns regarding statements that might be taken out of context and that might lead to illegitimate unions - and illegitimate children.

Throughout the daf, the rabbis compare statements of betrothal with statements of divorce.  They note that while these legal processes are different, they have many similarities.  Further, cases of betrothal are compared with cases of manumission in amud (b).  The rabbis walk through a number of situations that are not permitted in acts of betrothal including repaying debts that are owed, extending the time allowed for a loan owed, and offering money for the redemption of a first-born son.

The rabbis discuss laws of teruma and note that there might be a conflict of interest if a man offers a particular priest teruma when that man could benefit by the priest agreeing to a particular betrothal.  We are told that this is comparable to a priest begin forbidden to assist at the threshing floor.  In both situations, the priest might be put in a situation where he is able to barter his services for the means of others.  Priests are not permitted to be treated differently from each other.  We learn that bartering or 'exchange' for betrothal is regarded with suspicion and is not allowed.  The fear is that a woman might be betrothed in exchange for an item worth less than a peruta.  Even the appearance of a symbolic exchange is not permitted.