Pesachim 109 a, b

On Pesach, the children are asked to stay awake until late into the night.  The rabbis recognize that this might be difficult, and today's daf begins to address the needs of children in the context of the seder.

We are told to feed the children roasted seeds and nuts to keep them awake through the seder so that they will ask questions in general, and so that they will ask the four questions in particular.  Rabbi Abaye is said to release his students early on Passover eve and on Yom Kippur eve.  Why?  To ensure that the children are fed properly; that their needs are prioritized, on both occasions.   We are all to enjoy this holiday.

And why is it so important to keep the children awake?  Deuteronomy 16:14 says "and you shall rejoice in your festival".  It goes on to mention sons, daughters, maidservants, strangers, widows - everyone should  rejoice. And how should we rejoice?  We rejoice, the rabbis tell us, through wine for the men and clothing for the women.  Nothing about the children here, unfortunately.  Not surprisingly, our notes tell us that the stress of financing the holiday creates stress which will be abated with wine for the men.  As women do not have such stress, clothes are enough for them to be gladdened.  If only those rabbis knew the stress of preparing every last detail for Pesach with the limited money given to you by your husband!

 Further describing the importance of wine in rejoicing, the rabbis move on to a discussion of how much wine is meant by 'a quarter log'.   They then look at the measurements of the mikvah in comparison.  Finally, they return to the question at hand and wonder how a poor person might be given no less than four cups of wine.  Surely we could not ask someone to carry or drink wine in pairs!  Pairs, it seems, invited demons to work their evil on our ancestors.  How to solve this dilemma?

Rav Nachman saves the day.  Pesach is one of our protected days, and thus people are safe from the demons who would ordinarily be invited by these paired cups of wine.  Rava adds that the Grace after meals cup is always for good and not for bad, and the five cups in total interrupt the pairs that we might be worried about.  Ravina suggests that each of the four cups represents freedom on its own, and thus we are not dealing with pairs at all.

Steinsaltz shares more information about this practice in a note.  Some people were afraid of pairs and other customs of neighbouring groups.  Others were not.  To ensure that people would not walk as Jews filled with fear, those who wished to avoid pairs were allowed to do so, but this practice was not enforced in any way.

I love these details that demonstrate the influences between Jewish and other cultures of this time period.  We assimilated from our first days.  Why should we isolate ourselves now?  Part of being Jewish is living in the larger world as Jews, which requires some degree of assimilation.  Even our rabbis were aware that their desire for halachic observance might backfire, and so they allowed for beliefs and practices that were not Jewish in origin. Where did we lose that perspective?