Yoma 87 a, b

Those who are righteous are compared with those who are wicked.  The rabbis find many sources to justify their ideas about what happens when we are good; the consequences of being bad.  We learn that our behaviour affects the lives of countless generations that will come after us.  We also learn that power corrupts us.  A righteous person becomes wicked through the throne, but the true King is never corrupted.  And we learn about Tavi, Rabban Gamliel in Yavne's Canaanite slave.  A note teaches us that Tavi was an extraordinary scholar; he could not be released from servitude but was highly respected nonetheless.  Tavi was a slave because of his father's wickedness, we are told.

Returning to the Mishna that began two days ago, the rabbis wonder about atonement. Clearly we cannot plan to both sin and then beg forgiveness.  

We move into the mode of asking for forgiveness between two people.  These halachot are very familiar to most Jews of North America, I believe.  We learn that between two people, G-d will absolve us of our sin if we ask forgiveness.  But not by saying, "I'm sorry." Rabbi Chisda teaches that we must apologize in three ways: We say, I have sinned, I perverted what was right, my sin did not profit me", as taken from Job 33:27.  Rabbi Yosei bar Chanina agrees with the three part apology, but he suggests, "please, please forgive my transgression, and now please forgive", this idea taken from Genesis 50:17.  If we owe money, we must pay that money back.  If the wronged person dies before accepting our apology, the apology is repeated at his gravesite with ten people as witnesses.  A note reminds us that the apology should be accepted after the third attempt; if a teacher has not accepted our apology, however, we must continue to beg forgiveness.

We hear stories about rabbis and their experiences with apologies.  Rav Zeira would wait, pacing, for those who had wronged him to arrive.  This was to make it easier for them to apologize to him.  Rav went to a butcher hoping to receive his apology on the eve of Yom Kippur.  On the way, Rav Chuna, Rav's student, predicts that a person named Abba would kill someone.  Rav Chuna watched the butcher, Abba, kill himself unintentionally while slaughtering an animal.  I'm not quite clear on the message of this - apologize without delay or your death will be foretold??

This bizarre story is followed by a fascinating story about Rav, who restarted his Torah portion over and over as different rabbis entered the synagogue late.  Finally, Rav decided that he must complete the portion, insulting the latecomer Rav Chanina.  Although Rav apologized for his rudeness every year for thirteen years on Yom Kippur, Rav Chanina refused to grant forgiveness.  How could this be?  Shouldn't Rav have stopped after three attempts to beg forgiveness?  Shouldn't Rav Chanina have accepted Rav's apology?  We are told that Rav went beyond the letter of the law, for he was very pious.  As to Rav Chanina - he was protecting his position as the Rosh Yeshiva in Jerusalem.  Rav Chanina had dreamed that Rav was hung on a palm tree, apparently indicating that Rav would become Rosh Yeshiva.  Rav Chanina knew that Rav could not become Rosh Yeshiva without usurping his own place; his delaying forgiveness encouraged Rav to become Rosh Yeshiva in far-away Babylonia.

The rabbis now turn their attention to the timing and placement of the mitzvah of confession, vidu'i.  Before Yom Kippur begins? or at what point in the service?  What if a person sins on erev Yom Kippur but the vidu'i is said before that sin?  And is the confession said more than once?  During the Amida?  When, exactly, in the middle of that prayer?  Different rabbis offer different first lines:  Rav, Shmuel, Levi and Rabbi Yochanan suggest specific words to begin our confession.   Rabbi Yehuda and Rav Chamnua suggest word to express our apologies.  More rabbis suggest different expressions of confession; they wonder where we should sit and where we should stand while focusing on these powerful words.  The rabbis are sincerely concerned that each individual is able to focus his/her mind and soul on these prayers.  

We see the origin of the ne'ila prayers, the closing prayers of Yom Kippur.  The rabbis argue about exactly which words should be used; whether or not we should confess during or following the amida said by the prayer-leader; whether or not we say the evening prayers following ne'ila.  The halacha tells us that evening prayers are recited following ne'ila - even though it is a mitzvah to eat and drink following Yom Kippur.  However, this service is not required.  Amazingly, this halacha continues exactly as it is written in every shul I have attended for Yom Kippur - Conservative, Reform, Traditional Egalitarian, Modern Orthodox - we recite the evening prayer, but perhaps with greater speed and less gravitas than usual.

How amazing to read the roots of such sacred, deeply felt traditions.  Having participated in leading prayers on  Yom Kippur, it is with great awe that I note the similarity of my services to those of my ancestors.  Although, of course, as a woman, my experience would have been very different from my female ancestors.